Some People Are Just Askin' For It

Seemingly, the Blog Gods have taken notice of my bloggy malaise and lack of posting.

...Despite having a fabulous Halloween.

... and good times carving pumpkins.

...and sordid tales about this guy (OK, not really)

I just haven't been moved to mentally wrangle up a tale and work it out in a grammatically correct fashion.

blah.

So today, the Blog Gods got together and heaved a big, steaming pile of blog fodder right on my lap. And boy did it stink! Let me explain...

I'm naturally a chill person. I don't care for drama; I'm a live-and-let-live kinda gal. I pick my battles and I often bite my tongue to avoid conflict. I hate conflict. Seriously, it takes a lot to get my blood boiling, but once some asshat decides to take it there, oh it's on!

A few things you should know about me when I've been pushed out of my peace-lovin' love nest:

• Like a pitbull I will go for the throat... and I do NOT let go. One of us is going down...it's not going to be me.



• I get LOUD! Yes, if you're going to push me to be pissed off, EVERYONE will know it.



• I don't believe in hitting below the belt or responding in a juvenile way... but I will.



• I get the last word. Chances are you started it, it's only fair that I end it. Got it?

So I went to the chiropractor's office today with Beck. When we arrived, the waiting room was pretty full so Beck went straight to the corner that contains a basket of toys and I took a seat on the opposite side of the 10X10 room. Beck got busy playing nicely with the three other kids cramped in the corner. I watched them as the 4 kids stacked blocks and giggled amongst themselves... you know, how kids can naturally just start having fun with other kids. Good stuff.

Soon a man enters the waiting room and glares at everyone, spots the kids and "huffs". He sits with his back to the kids but constantly shoots nasty looks over his shoulder.

Mind you, I'm the first person to get annoyed by unruly children whose parents have better things to do than to mind their own offspring. Moreover, I'm pretty strict about how I expect my children to behave in public. I REFUSE to be one of those parents.

That being said, these four children were playing very well together. They stayed in their little corner, stacking blocks, occasionally *gasp* giggling.

The Cranky Old Bastard (COB) leans over and asks the guy next to him, "Who thought they could bring their kids."

I take a deep breath.

The doctor comes to the door and calls his next patient when COB says to him, "why don't you take the kids. They're out of control."

Oh GAME ON ASSHOLE!

Me: "Actually, those kids are behaving just fine."

COB : NO THEY'RE NOT! THEY"RE BEING ANIMALS!

Me : ANIMALS!? They're just kids, playing nicely.

COB : Well, this is a doctor's office!

Me: Yes, a Doctors office with a basket full of toys for the kids to play with while their waiting.

COB: I don't come here to listen to kids.

Me: I don't come here to deal with cranky, OLD, bitter men!

COB: Well they're being annoying

Me: Really? Because you're being annoying. They're kids. What's your excuse?

COB: (turning again to the other guy) Don't you think these kids are out of control?

Other Guy: Actually, they're playing just fine. They're well behaved. They're just kids.

Meanwhile the other parents are quickly ushering their kids out of the room, probably in fear that I was about to whoop this old fart's arse!

Then this other dude says to COB: "You're a very rude man, How dare you talk to this woman you don't even know. They're just kids! Get over yourself."

... and then he splits.

COB: Well I don't care, these kids are being too loud!

Me: No moron, they're not. they're no louder than the Muzak being piped into this room. (OK I didn't say Moron... but I was thinking it. No I wasn't. I was thinking much worse)

COB: Well that's your opinion.

Me: Yes, and apparently that of the rest of the room as well.

COB : Well I don't want to hear your opinion.

Me: (laughing) Well then you might have considered keeping your mouth closed and not sharing your opinion. But since you chose to run your mouth, then you're getting my opinion. It would be wise for you to shut up now...unless you want me to continue.

COB: (sensing I was batshit crazy and that the veins popping and pulsating on the side of my head and neck may indicate that I'm just getting started, COB averted his eyes in defeat, and mutters) unbelievable.

Me: Excuse me? What's unbelievable? The fact you are a grown man pissing and moaning about some kids playing and minding their own business or because someone won't put up with your garbage?

crickets...

c'mon! Do it! Breath another G-D word asshole! I'm just getting warmed up! I sat there, blood swishing in my ears, jaw clinched, shaking... just waiting for him to say another word, a cross-eyed look.... another "huff". He sat motionless, eyes on his shoes.... for the next 15 minutes.

Once in the doctor's office, the chiropractor apologized profusely. I recommend he give the bastard more than a spinal adjustment.

Some people just need their asses handed to them. Today I was more than happy to gift wrap!

CREEPS

As if the run-in with the Hillbillies earlier this week wasn't creepy enough, I found myself meandering the interwebs and having this notion pop into my head that I should check on "The Waste of Oxygen Who Stalked Me" (hereby known as WOOWSM... naw, I'll just refer to him AHOLE).

Long story short, this creep served TWO prison sentences in FL for Aggravated Stalking. After serving his first sentence, he was back at it again and broke into my house, so back in he went. Thank goodness fate or guardian angels had me else where that night.

Before he was released from prison again, I moved... far, far away.

So the other night I just had that odd feeling I should perhaps check on the whereabouts of AHOLE. After a little Net-sleuthing, I discovered he is a guest of the New York Department of Corrections, serving a 5 year sentence for a breaking and entering and robbery at gun point charge. But because AHOLE, is, well, an A-HOLE, he's actually been there since 2003, released a couple of times but always managing to find his arse back in prison (where it belongs). However, after a little more digging, I discover he just had a parole hearing LAST WEEK (psychic much?) and has been granted release AGAIN! WTF?! Should we start a poll how long this AHOLE will go before he commits another crime? Seriously, is NY just seeing if next time he'll actually murder someone?

The good news is that per his probation requirements, he needs to stay in that local area. The bad news is he doesn't seem to follow directions well (ya think?) and NY is a little too close for my comfort.

So there's today's tale of psychic abilities and creepy encounters. I'm hoping next week's theme is a bit more cute and cuddly.... perhaps a little Ralph Fiennes in NYC? Please?! I've had my fill of creeps.

In America?

I'll warn you now, this video is hard to watch.

This is a cruel and heartless event that, until today, I have never heard of. The Omak Suicide Race.
Essentially, asshats race their horses over a cliff and down a steep hill into a river, almost assuring injury, if not death to their horses.

So what third world, ignorant country would hold such an event?
How about the good ol' US of A.
I'm all for shitheads offing themselves, but don't do it on the back of an innocent horse!



The race organizers actually write on their website "Without the communities support, this event wouldn't be possible". Let's hope the community figures out that it's time to stop supporting this horrible event. Please click here to see how you can help end this barbaric race.

I Pledge Allegiance to Cognizance

(*WARNING* I know I don't tend to get political on this blog, heck I rarely get serious, but I'm breaking with tradition today since this growing wave is starting to look like a tsunami. Please remember, this is just my personal opinion. We live in this fabulous country that allows for such things as differing opinions. You certainly don't have to agree with me and if the following post offends then I suggest you click here now)

I'm sure many of you have seen the Harpo produced video of all the celebrities pledging to be better people. While I'm all for people wanting to do more for our country, moreover, for our world, there's so many unsettling factors about this little montage.


Let's just set aside the laughable idea that all these celebrities will actually make good on all these pledges. I'll remember this next week when one of them wraps their massive gas-guzzling Hummer around a Hollywood phone pole while smoking crack and tossing plastic bottles out the window at homeless people.

First and foremost, the little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end at the sheer propaganda-factor of this video. Seriously, I was waiting for the flashes of brain-washing images to appear that would render us drooling, Obama-chanting zombies. Oh wait.....

Why hadn't these loving, caring celebrities pledged all these wonderful things last year? Or even last week?

I think it's wonderful to pledge service to your community, your country and your world. And if the swearing in of Obama as our 44th President has created this new sense of hope, caring and pride, then that is incredible and fabulous and I'm all for it. But pledging oneself to a single leader is unsettling. And a trendy message like this encouraging others to pledge themselves to Obama feels like a lesson in history that we should have already learned. Support your leader, the hope is he'll be a leader you can be proud of. Respect your leader. But never follow blindly.

I want nothing more than a very successful upcoming 4 years, but not just for Obama, but for ALL OF US. The fact is, a leader's success isn't always indicative of the people's success. In serving your country you serve your leader, but serving your leader doesn't mean you're serving your country.


Although this is a bit of a bizarre film, it has an interesting message about leaders, revolution, power and trading one corrupt regime for the next. (of course it never hurts that Ralph Fiennes stars in it)