Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Bikini Babes

The fam and I recently fled life's madness and cruised from Miami to LA. If a picture's worth 1000 words, this post is a novel. But I promise, if you stick with me all the way to the end you will be rewarded with a scantly clad lady and some found porn... and by found, I mean the ill-chosen art that stared at me day in and day out right.at.the.foot.of.my.bed.

Shall we get this cruise started? Yes, yes we shall. Did we bring enough wine? Sadly, no. No, we didn't.

Aboard the NCL Star

RUN! Sea Monster!

DooDoo choose your song wisely

Back off ladies! He's mine!

Hot Taco

Guess who got a new dress...

Go on... guess!
Sea junk

More Sea Junk

Psshhhh! We don't need no stinkin' properly fitting life jackets!

The glasses were buy one, get one. What?

This picture scares me.

So we went from big boat to a little boat, cruising down a murky river in Costa Rica when our driver (captain?) jumped barefoot out of the boat and summoned his friend out of the water

My first thought: Does anyone else know how to driver the boat home. This was no petting zoo! That's a wild 15ft Croc.

Beck's gonna work his way up to the crocs.

This is how you go through the Panama Canal

Being carried off by 15 medical personal is NOT.
Although I don't have the official tally, I know of at least two deaths on our ship. Not bad considering the median age of the passengers was 103.

Just for the record, I have been cleared of any involvement in either deaths.

11pm: This is a clear hint that the counselors in the kids' club hate you.
I LOVE wrestling my over-tired, high-as-a-kite-on-sugar kid into a late night shower. FYI that's not face paint, its black axel grease.

Easy come

Easy go

Ice cream.every.single.day.

Only 12 kids on the ship = kids pool all to ourselves.

Just as we took this picture we got rear-ended. It was a hit and gallop.

OK, as promised... some found porn.

This massive....ummmm, lighthouse... light-less lighthouse... light-less lighthouse with a curve to the right...

moving on...


So, there you have it. It was a fabulous vacation.

What? The lady in the bikini? Oh yeahhhhh, I'm sorry. Let me zoom out...

You know I couldn't see that and not take a picture! Well, gotta go, my handbasket is ready.


Bev said...

HAHA! Great post, Malomatic! Looks like a fabulous time despite the ancient fellow-passengers. Love that bikini shot - ooh la la!

PorkStar said...

LMFAO awesome pictures. Looks like you guys had a great time.

2 Deaths on your ship? You sure that last picture was not the third casualty? She sure looks like she's been hanging around overtime.

Frank Irwin said...

Great captions, as usual, Mala! Looks like a good time was had by all.

I guess the smoke ring in the "lighthouse" picture answers the age old question, "Do you smoke after sex."

JJ said...

Funny post! It looks and sounds like you all had a blast!!

MtnMama said...

Posterchild for Sunblock! They say it's not the years, but the rays, that turn your face into ... that.

Awesome pictures, Mala. I hear you on the "scary" one. Always too soon. I will let you know when it happens to me.

Thanks for sharing!

Coffeypot said...

When you said you were going sailing I pictured a boat with…uh…ya know…SAILS. I haven’t been through the Panama Canal, yet, but I do love to cruse. Looks like y’all had a great time and, yes, that last pic is…hot??…not!!!

Mala said...

Bev - You know me, I can have a good time in a morgue.

Porky - S/he was actually one of the more spunky, able-bodied ones.

Franky - Yes, it answers that question...but raises so many more.

JJ - It was a good time. FAR better than all these crappy snow storms. Oh and I haven't forgotten about my award. THANKS!

MtnMama - I LOVE the sun, but, wow, she's some kind of warning. I don't want to turn into an old man.

Coffey - This was our 2nd Canal transit - I HIGHLY recommend it.
And I thought our ship had sails...turns out it was some fat lady's undies. This cruise had plenty of examples of too much sun and too much buffets!

Now where's my Indian hookers???

janiece said...

All I can say is OH! MY! GOD!!! someday we have to get out together--although we may end up in jail--it would be so crazy fun!

Marnie and Jeremy said...

OK, so I thought it was a man too. I also wondered if she was one of the dead. It would be fun to have a cruise reunion!

suki5150 said...

Cool pictures. We are going there again in May.

Love it.