Wednesday, April 28, 2010

(Not At All) Wordless Wednesday - Rodeo Remix

I've always had this running Bucket List in my head and I've been fortunate to have been able to slap a big ol' check mark next to many of the items. Lived my dream as a trapeze artist... check. Stunt double in a movie.... checkeroo! Sailed through the Panama Canal .... check, Matey! Learned how to fly.... check-a-roo-ski! Meet Steven Tyler.... well, I'm still working on that.
Anyway, one of the items on my list was to ride as a flag girl in the rodeo... You know, this:

OK, except maybe sitting on the horse.

Anyhoo, I got my chance while living in Florida when I got hired by the Dodge Truck Rodeo Team. And I have to say, I loved it! Every week we got dolled up in gaudy, glittery, sequined outfits and galloped around the rodeo arena, carry the US flag or Dodge flag between each rodeo event. Midway through the rodeo we'd come out and perform a wild, galloping drill routine. Seriously, such an awesome job!
And did I mention copious amount of the tight little cowboy butts in tight little jeans. Occupational BONUS!

All this in exchange for just staying on my horse...

oh, and having to wear a cowboy hat.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Brazilians and Bobby D

Bev and I blew off all our adulty duties yesterday and headed to our favorite sweat shop nail salon for a little blog fodder pampering.
First we enjoyed relaxing pedicures. OK, I enjoyed a relaxing pedicure. Bev hurriedly did her homework for our writing class.

Why the rush? We had all of 5 hours before it was due.

The last time we visited this nail salon, they tortured us by forcing us to watch a Tyler Perry movie. And once it was over (Thank Gawd!), they started it over again. Of course, we could have just simply not watched it, but holy hell, they have 12 large LCD screens posted all over the joint. Besides, moving images on flat screens.... moths to a flame. Even if it's a total pile of suckage, Bev and I are watching it.

So we were not surprised to be entertained by yet another sucky, sappy film, Dear John, but were relieved to notice it was at it's sucky, sappy conclusion. Yay.

But as we were moving on to our manicures, they fired up Everyone's Fine. What has happened to Bobby D's career? Sigh

A quarter of the way through the film, Bev excused herself to the broom closet back room to be violated for her appointment with some hot wax.

Meanwhile, I had no choice but to allow my nails to dry and watch the movie. It was too late to stop. I was committed to see how this piece of poo ends. I then noticed one of the salon employees busting out his own portable DVD player. WTH? Even they hate this crap, and yet they make us watch it!

As he sat across the salon, enjoying his own film, he continuously kept turning down the volume of the movie showing on the big screens. Soon, I found myself leaning closer to the screens, practicing my lip-reading abilities, while he tinny little DVD player was turned up louder and louder.

And then suddenly it happened. The sound of an obvious porn flick filled the salon. YES! YES! YES! OHHHH OHHH OHHHHH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!.

I spun to face the ladies sitting next to me, also getting their nails done. Not a single reaction. I turned to the little Asian guy with his DVD player sitting on his lap, smiling.


Did I take a crazy pill? Was I the only one hearing this? WTH!!!! Why is Bev missing this?! Where the hell is Bev?

Oddly enough, as it sounded like the scene was, *cough* coming to a conclusion, he finally turned the volume down.

I can't believe Bev was missing this.

Getting back to the cheesy Deniro film, which despite it's craptastic-ness, still made me cry (damnit!), I began to increasingly get worried that the film would never end about Bev.

But as soon as the credits rolled, Bev reappeared from the broom closet back room, a bit red in the face and muttering something about getting to the car NOW.

And dare say, she looked much younger.... I mean, much, MUCH younger. No, really, I mean, decades younger. So I hear. (yeah, you're going to want to click on that.)

Monday, April 19, 2010

Me And MJ

LaBev recently asked us all to share our yearbook pictures... I failed this mission miserably, which is a shame because I had not one, but TWO senior pictures.

The first portrait was taken right after a rousing game of baseball with the handicap kids I worked with. It was only about 108 degrees out and I wasn't only hitting, catching and pitching for everyone, but also slinging them over my shoulder and running bases with them. Good times. By the time I made it to my portrait appointment, I was a sweaty mess. Not sweaty pretty like this:

Just sweaty, sweaty. Not good.

I later rolled the picture dice again, at a different studio, who decided I should rest my hands on a grassy platform in front of a picturesque meadow backdrop. It looked a bit like this.

But still, I'm always game for a little "show me yours", so I destroyed my basement hunting for my missing yearbook and pissed away an entire day looking through all my old memorabilia.

I had no luck finding my yearbook, but I found plenty of other goodies that will probably make their way here to Mixed Nuts... eventually.

Until then, I couldn't resist but to unveil this one now. Yes, forget my senior portrait. I turned the way-back machine waaayyyyyyyy back for this beauty.

Did I mention I was a huge Micheal Jackson fan back in the day?

And yes, I still have that jacket.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Whole Lotta Love

Another rockin' weekend! Woot. But seriously, this one really rocked!

Some of you may remember that Joe and I went to see the band, Get The Led Out, last year... and they rocked!

No? You don't recall? Oh wait, maybe this will jaunt your memory...

Remember? And the lovely Lori educated us on the term mooseknuckle because she's awesome and a teacher - that's what she does.

We promised the Bevs and Team E&M that the band would not disappoint, so the 6 of us made a road trip to the House of Blues in Boston to rock out to some Led Zeppelin.

The girls rocked the back of the minivan while the guys got lost on the cattle-path streets of Boston sorted out directions and driving.

The show was AWESOME! GTLO rocked the hizzz-owse! If they are in your neck of the woods, go see 'em! Do it!
We already have plans to see them again in June... and we're workin' on a little after party with the band, complete with some acoustic jammin' on the beach. Hoot! I'll be playing a mean triangle!

But the best "damn I wish I had my camera" moment came after the show when Bev decided to photobomb join in a photo op with about 20 guys. As she struck her most awesome rockstar pose, a sea of 20 pairs of hands immediately gravitated to cop a feel towards LaBev, who spryly escaped, ungroped.

Rockin' friends, fabulous music... life is good.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Bing and Bong

Recently Joe and I were reminded of a TV show Joe and I Morgan was obsessed with when she was a wee tyke. "Tiny Planets" was a show that proved that kids' programs are really written and produced by masochistic druggies.

* the main characters are "Bing" and "Bong"... I guess "Puff" and "Stoner" would be too inappropriate.
* ALL the other characters are called Flockers. For those with toddlers, go ahead and ask them to say the word "Flockers". I'll wait. Nice, huh? Now imagine your kids cheering every morning "FAWKERS! FAWKERS! FAWKERS!"
* Bing and Bong travel the universe on their couch. Yeah, they like just sitting on their couch. And eating. They always seem to be hungry.
* And as if all of their creative might was spent on naming their characters, there is no dialogue. Bing, or Bong - really I don't know which is which- occasionally coos. Their writers ROCK.
* The big one wears a ManPurse ("It's a satchel!"). NTTAWWT. Oh wait, yes there is.

But despite the show making us look like horrible parents, (" No, Mrs. Pre-school Teacher, she was called little Timmy a 'Flocker' ") it was mesmerizing. We couldn't stop watching it. And their theme song is still stuck in my head all these years later. Catchy little diddy. Flockers!

So for it's lack of any real educational value, and it's rampant drug references, one has to wonder; who writes this stuff? And moreover, how do they get it actually produced and ON TV.

After about a year, Bing and Bong seemingly disappeared from the morning kiddie programing. And from the looks of it, is now being enjoyed in Germany. Tiny Planets and Hasselhoff, they take all our crap, don't they?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Wine and Wabbits

Cheers to a fabulous weekend!

Friday I had my dog publicly humiliated by dropping him off at the groomers for a full body buzz cut. When I arrived to pick him up, he walked out like a doomed dog.

"Oh Benji (uncontrollably laughing), you look so good."
"Shut up, Mala! Just get me to the car."
"But Benji, it's adora...."
"Car! Now! I don't want to talk about it. Oh, and sleep with one eye open, lady!"

And to add insult to injury, the groomer topped him off with a pink bow.

And while Benji plotted my death sulked, I dumped him and the kids on Joe and hit the town with La Bev.

Bev and I enjoyed a deee-lish Italian dinner at a BYOW (bring your own wine - and we did!) restaurant.

Shortly after we arrived, the french-Canadian version of Betty White walked through the door. Bev and I did a double take and laughed uncontrollably. We lovingly renamed her Betty Blanche, and stealthy tried taking a picture of her, you know, to share with all of you.

Because we love you like that.

See, the queens of the sly! But damn my zoom-less camera phone! But take our word for it, she looked just like BETTY WHITE!... only Canadian.

No? Here, look through this wine glass.... see?

Moving on....

After licking our plates clean finishing our delightful meal, we each paid the bill...

* cue: sound of scratching record*

Yes, we each handed over our credit cards and therefore paying the bill twice! Sadly, we were too busy drinking wine giggling to realize this until the next morning when I woke up to realize our two entrees ( remember, we brought our own wine.) cost us about $90. It was good, but not $90 good!

So why don't we simply call the restaurant and straighten out the little snafu? Welllllllll, we kinda couldn't pass up the opportunity to fill out the comment card... and immediately flee- giggling at our own awesome-ness.

Awesome Fail!

Next we hit the movie theater to enjoy Hot Tub Time Machine. It was good and it didn't require any deep-thinking... so, it was good.
But because we started our evening rather early, the movie was done by 8:30pm. Yeah, way too early to call it a night! So I introduced Bev to an old hobby of mine from back in my broke college days; movie hopping. We decided to take in a double feature of mindless comedy, and followed HTTM with She's Out of my League.
We had some time before our second feature so we grabbed some popcorn and sat in on 10 minutes of The Crazies. Yeah, 10 minutes was about 11 minutes too much.

Fast forward to Easter.

The kids enjoyed our annual egg hunt. Beck's special friend, and former orphanage homegirl, Aidai came over for the festivities as well. It was wonderful seeing these two together again... a half a world away from where they started.
Ready, set, HUNT!

Benji had a little run-in with the Easter Bunny... oh when does the humiliation end!?

After all the Easter festivities, my Mom and I took a relaxing trail ride.

A perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend too.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

See Ya, Suckas!!!

Yeah, I probably won't be hangin' around here much anymore...

Like Old Hampshire, But New...

Jay-Z's song holds a special place in my heart, but this one is about my 'hood, yo!