Friday, February 11, 2011

Pre-Oscars Preparations

LaBev and I will be traveling to LaLa Land* to enjoy the pomp and circumstance of the Academy Awards... well, at least the hoopla behind the Kodak Theater. Yes, that's right, we'll be live from the alley behind the Oscars, right there between the dumpster and the passed out drunk in the SpongeBob costume. HUZZAH!

And just like the stars who will be using the front entrance, Bev and I are feverishly preparing to get glammed up! But unlike our starlet counterparts we haven't starved ourselves for the past two months we have to actually schlep through the mall to find clothing. Sadly, no designers have come knocking at our door, begging us to wear their clothes for free. Harry Winston, are you reading this?

Of course, it all starts with finding the perfect dress.

...which sadly, we didn't.

But at least we have the perfect footwear.
Classy, no?

Maybe we should focus on the accessories...

Do these make me look smaahhhhtttt?

A bird on the head is worth.... ummm... $3.99, according to Claire's.

OWLS!!! What does it mean?!?!

l'élastique rend parfait, non?

after eating a carb-filled lunch hours of shopping, Bev and I were exhausted and we got, perhaps, a little lazy in our quest for the perfect Oscar outfit.

I'm the second from the left... in case you didn't know.

Bev tires of taking her clothes off and finds an easier way to try on outfits.

In the end, we were asked to leave by mall management unsuccessful in our search for our red carpet back alley outfits.

So as it stands, Bev and I will be wearing sweats.

...unless we can borrow the Spongebob costume.

*barring any emergency surgeries or something.


Frank Irwin said...

Oh, man, I'd love to hang out with you ladies, some time! What a hoot!

I find it hard to believe, though, that Bev gets tired of taking her clothes off.

And, yes, the glasses make you look wicked smaaaaaaht!

Bev said...

Frank, you've got a point there. And yeah... you need to plan another trip back to Bahston, yes? :D

Malomatic, as always I had an excellent time with you at the mall. We rocked those dresses, yo.

LOVE those glasses!!

MtnMama said...

Since I wasn't there to judge in person :( I defer to your assessment, but I kind of like the dresses in the second shot. I'd loan you (well, one of you) my fabulous Oscar dress but you've both got superior boobage than I. Just as well; wouldn't want to show favoritism...
When I ever make it to the East Coast, I'm dropping in on y'all. (relative longitude not a factor as I'm from BIG states and miles don't scare me)
I just HAVE to follow you two around a retail establishment some day!

Coffeypot said...

Two Owls??? You'd be in Coffeypot land. My high school was West Fulton High Blue Owls. And my MBA was at Kennesaw State University Owls. The stadium use to be called Hooter Stadium till the fems got hold of it. Go Owls. Wear them with pride - or drunk.
Have fun, too.

Mala said...

Frank, you think you could handle that again? Bring it!

Bev - ALWAYS a good time! 11 days!

MtnMama - Being followed by someone other than mall security would be a nice change.
And you should TOTALLY come hang with us!

Coffey - Owls. They're every where. Hooters too.