...Despite having a fabulous Halloween.
... and good times carving pumpkins.
...and sordid tales about this guy (OK, not really)
I just haven't been moved to mentally wrangle up a tale and work it out in a grammatically correct fashion.
So today, the Blog Gods got together and heaved a big, steaming pile of blog fodder right on my lap. And boy did it stink! Let me explain...
I'm naturally a chill person. I don't care for drama; I'm a live-and-let-live kinda gal. I pick my battles and I often bite my tongue to avoid conflict. I hate conflict. Seriously, it takes a lot to get my blood boiling, but once some asshat decides to take it there, oh it's on!
A few things you should know about me when I've been pushed out of my peace-lovin' love nest:
- Like a pitbull I will go for the throat... and I do NOT let go. One of us is going down...it's not going to be me.
- I get LOUD! Yes, if you're going to push me to be pissed off, EVERYONE will know it.
- I don't believe in hitting below the belt or responding in a juvenile way... but I will.
- I get the last word. Chances are you started it, it's only fair that I end it. Got it?
So I went to the chiropractor's office today with Beck. When we arrived, the waiting room was pretty full so Beck went straight to the corner that contains a basket of toys and I took a seat on the opposite side of the 10X10 room. Beck got busy playing nicely with the three other kids cramped in the corner. I watched them as the 4 kids stacked blocks and giggled amongst themselves... you know, how kids can naturally just start having fun with other kids. Good stuff.
Soon a man enters the waiting room and glares at everyone, spots the kids and "huffs". He sits with his back to the kids but constantly shoots nasty looks over his shoulder.
Mind you, I'm the first person to get annoyed by unruly children whose parents have better things to do than to mind their own offspring. Moreover, I'm pretty strict about how I expect my children to behave in public. I REFUSE to be one of those parents.
That being said, these four children were playing very well together. They stayed in their little corner, stacking blocks, occasionally *gasp* giggling.
The Cranky Old Bastard (COB) leans over and asks the guy next to him, "Who thought they could bring their kids."
I take a deep breath.
The doctor comes to the door and calls his next patient when COB says to him, "why don't you take the kids. They're out of control."
Oh GAME ON ASSHOLE!
Me: "Actually, those kids are behaving just fine."
COB : NO THEY'RE NOT! THEY"RE BEING ANIMALS!
Me : ANIMALS!? They're just kids, playing nicely.
COB : Well, this is a doctor's office!
Me: Yes, a Doctors office with a basket full of toys for the kids to play with while their waiting.
COB: I don't come here to listen to kids.
Me: I don't come here to deal with cranky, OLD, bitter men!
COB: Well they're being annoying
Me: Really? Because you're being annoying. They're kids. What's your excuse?
COB: (turning again to the other guy) Don't you think these kids are out of control?
Other Guy: Actually, they're playing just fine. They're well behaved. They're just kids.
Meanwhile the other parents are quickly ushering their kids out of the room, probably in fear that I was about to whoop this old fart's arse!
Then this other dude says to COB: "You're a very rude man, How dare you talk to this woman you don't even know. They're just kids! Get over yourself."
... and then he splits.
COB: Well I don't care, these kids are being too loud!
Me: No moron, they're not. they're no louder than the Muzak being piped into this room. (OK I didn't say Moron... but I was thinking it. No I wasn't. I was thinking much worse)
COB: Well that's your opinion.
Me: Yes, and apparently that of the rest of the room as well.
COB : Well I don't want to hear your opinion.
Me: (laughing) Well then you might have considered keeping your mouth closed and not sharing your opinion. But since you chose to run your mouth, then you're getting my opinion. It would be wise for you to shut up now...unless you want me to continue.
COB: (sensing I was batshit crazy and that the veins popping and pulsating on the side of my head and neck may indicate that I'm just getting started, COB averted his eyes in defeat, and mutters) unbelievable.
Me: Excuse me? What's unbelievable? The fact you are a grown man pissing and moaning about some kids playing and minding their own business or because someone won't put up with your garbage?
c'mon! Do it! Breath another G-D word asshole! I'm just getting warmed up! I sat there, blood swishing in my ears, jaw clinched, shaking... just waiting for him to say another word, a cross-eyed look.... another "huff". He sat motionless, eyes on his shoes.... for the next 15 minutes.
Once in the doctor's office, the chiropractor apologized profusely. I recommend he give the bastard more than a spinal adjustment.
Some people just need their asses handed to them. Today I was more than happy to gift wrap!