Thursday, February 18, 2010

Seperated At Birth

I've established the fact that I have some issues recognizing people, yeah, I kinda suck at it. Point in case, last weekend I got together with a group of close friends from High School. We try to get together every couple of months for dinner and drinks; good times. While waiting for a table a fellow former classmate happen to walked in with her husband. We all said "Hi" "how are you?" and all those nice small talk.

She's one of my friends on FB (read: High school acquaintance that sent me a friend request on a day I happen to be feeling rather generous) and I recalled she had recently opened her on spa, so I asked, "How's the spa?".

Suddenly all my friends spun their glances in my direction with the "oh no she didn't!" look. What?
"I still work at the bank", she replied, confused.

My homegirls quickly told her how nice it was to see her again and grabbed me by the elbow and led me away like I was their elderly, senile Grandmother.

That wasn't Angela, was it?", I said sheepishly.

"No Mala. It was Melissa. We went to school with her for 4 years and she looks nothing like Angela."

"Don't they both have brown hair?" I replied.

That's what I get for trying to use my power of recall. Seriously, from now on I'm just sticking to the 'smile and wave' in all social situations.

Anyhoo, while Angela and what's-her-face, may not look a thing alike, the following celebs are often confuddling me.

I suffered through both The Watchmen (Bev LOVES this movie!) and Alvin and the Chipmunks (both I and II!) and I wasn't sure if starred the same guy. Bev assured me, it's not. The Ratmunks features Jason Lee, looking his best, while The Watchmen stars Patrick Wilson at his most UN-sexy. But you see it, right?

During my extensive search for a picture of Alvin and the Chipmunk Jason Lee and not the My Name is Earl Jason Lee, I came across this:
Pshhhhh, I don't see it!
Moving on..
When did Ethan Hawke morph into Kevin Dillon?

Speaking of Kevin Dillon, did he make a deal with the devil? The man doesn't age. Wasn't he in Platoon like 40 years ago?
And just as an aside, I like Kevin way more than Matt Dillon. While on the set of Wild Things, Matt asked every girl there for their phone number. And since we were all playing high school girls, many of them were actually under 18. Hello, Jail bait! When he asked me for my number, all slick and cool (gag), I assured him that at 22 years old, I was obviously too old for him.
But here's two guys I'd give my number to in a heartbeat! And have. OWWW!
I totally heart Everclear's Art Alexakis. And Dr. Drew makes me wish I had had an interest in drugs. Sigh, or not.

And last, but certainly not least... is it any wonder I dig Bradley Cooper?


Elliott said...

I don't know who most of these people are. But now I'm going to have to rent Wild Things...

Frank Irwin said...

What Elliot said.

MJenks said...

You were in Wild Things?


I don't think Patrick Wilson looks like Lee.

I do think that there are times during Watchmen when Patrick Wilson looks WAY too much like Chevy Chase. WAY too much.

Bev said...

Holy crap! I never noticed the Ralph & Bradley thing at all, but now that you mention it... WOW. It's almost enough for me to find old Voldy attractive... but not quite.

Oh, and btw - Angela remembers you. Remember when I told you about that horrible massage I had recently that left me hobbled and ouchy for weeks afterward? Yeah, that was at her spa.

That bitch.

Coffeypot said...

I don't have that problem, I call all the men 'Bud' or 'Dude' and all the women 'Darlin', 'Hun' or 'Sweetie.'

MtnMama said...

Coffey give some sage advice: When I tended bar, being the name-afflicted soul that I am, I learned to call everyone Doll, Hon, Babe, Bud, etc. Saved face.

And they all blur together after a while, celebs and old lang syne, unless they've made an effort to be meaningful in your life. Otherwise? Pfffttt...

Frank Irwin said...

And Sweetie, MtnMama?

Samsmama said...

I just so happen to own Wild Things. If I *force* myself to sit through it (for the 900th time) will I see you? Eh, I'll watch it anyway.

Ryan Reynolds is the shiznit! I saw him interviewed on something (my memory is similar to your name skills) the other day and it was awesome.

Dr.Drew? YES! He's so awesome! Although I'd love to be under his (under him?) care, no way I'd go to that rehab place. Seen Heidi Fleiss? Yikes!!! What happened to her upper lip?


BlackLOG said...

Sounds like you should go on the "engaging people" course that I went on a couple of weeks back...Oh so it was you who blanked me. Don't worry about it this post explains it all....

P.S. Coffeypot's advice is good unless you manage to call a man "Sweetie" This will end in one of two ways :-

1. Being chased down the road by 'sweetie' who wants to get to know you better...

2. Being chased down the road by an irate 'Sweetie' wanting his boot to get to know your head better.

Only worth trying if you are in training for an Olympic event or want to lose weight fast...

Mala said...

Elliott - Yes... and no. If you do sit through Wild Things, which invovles a rather hot girl-on-girl scene with Neve Campbell and Denise Richardson... Whoa! Wait! Sit yer arse back down, I'm not done! Shesh.
Anyway, they discuss their upcoming high school graduation... and then, all of a sudden, they've already graduated. Yeah, I was in the graduation scene, right over there on the cutting room floor. In the scene, me and this other chick we're chill with Kevin Bacon (1 degree! WOOT!). Come to think of it, that would make an awesome post... so I'll stop there.

Frank - ditto

MJenks - You are SO RIGHT ON with the Watchmen Patrick Wilson looking like Chevy Chase!!! Again, totally at his most un-sexiest... even with the soft porn scenes.

Bev - How can you deny!? HOW?! He's so, so....dreamy.
And what?! Angela hurt my Bev?! Oh she's totally defriended!!!

Coffey - Great idea! But I'm going to simplify it even more and go with the unisex name of "sweet cheeks" for everyone. Ahhhhhhhhhh, much better.

Sweet Cheeks (of the Mtns) - Thank GAWD I'm not in the position to see (and expect to remember) people often. I remember all the horses' names and that's all the matters on a daily basis. Whew!

Sweet Cheeks - Back again, eh Sweet cheeks?

Sweet Cheeks (in a Snuggie) - 900 times, eh? I was also present in the Denise Richardson/Matt Dillon face slapping scene, which took no less than 60 takes (*giggle*), but you'll never be able to pick me out.
And I'm so glad you like Dr. Drew too. People usually think I'm weird for that one. Hello? Love Line! That's hilar!!!

Blacklog - Wait???! We blanked? Cripes! I'm sure I would have remembered that! Guess I do need that seminar.

Actually, while on vacation a few weeks ago I did attend a memory seminar, specifically on how to remember people's names. I slept through the whole darn thing! Like a baby; sweet, wonderful sleep.
Yeah, I suck.

MtnMama said...

Frank: I reserve Sweetie for people I really like. Are you saying you want to be off the "A" list?

calicobebop said...

Ryan Renolds is a BABE!! Mmm... babilicious. Did I just make that word up?

dogimo said...

Ok. ONE of those guys on the bottom is surely Rafe Fines. Or as I call him, "Ralph Fiennes."

Other than that, count me as with you on the Kevin vs. Matt Dillon divide. Matt could never have pulled off the smoldering insecure bad-boy cool that Kevin did in The Blob (1988).

Mala said...

Calicobebop - Quick! Copyright that! Then rack in the royalties.

Dogimo - When you're that hot you can say you're name is pronounced any way you want. Mmmmmmmmm.

Guess I need to Netflix The Blob now.

Asthma Treatment said...

just wondered where paul mccartney lives in california! im nto going to stalk him!