Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dude, Where's My Parking Space?

As if I need another excuse to avoid the gym, the parking situation is horrendous! Oddly enough when I joined the gym they were really trying to sell me on their valet parking (which of course they now deny even exists). I couldn't help but think, WTF it's a gym! These lame asses can't walk the extra steps from the far end of the parking lot?! Hello?!!!! Of course now I often feel like driving up to the front door and chucking my car keys at the little size 1 behind the counter!
Right now a big problem is the fact that half the parking spaces are occupied by 6 feet tall snow banks. OK, I live in New Hampshire, snowbanks are inevitable. Sure, it would be nice if they hauled that nasty stuff off considering the parking lot is already too small for the number of members they need to accommodate, but whatever. But then you add the fact there's always a few asshats that, in order to avoid others parking too close to their overly-expensive cars, park in 1 2/3 spots. Ugh, it's all I can do to not key their car!
And of course it doesn't help that I drive the S.S. Land Hog. I love my monstrous black truck, but finding a parking space that I can squeeze into and not have to shimmy out my window Dukes-of-Hazard style is a challenge when I'm surround by people who can actually park properly!
So my recent attempts of getting to the gym has started, and nearly ended, in me circling the parking lot 10 minutes before my Hip Hop class starts. IF I find a spot it's usually next to some jackass who's parked directly on the white parking space line, with a car that screams "I don't have insurance and I don't give a crap!". So I circle again, attempt the parallel parking space between the 2 cars that must be driven by blind people because again they're taking each a bite out of the spot I need. So I circle again! There's the asshat parked diagonally across two spots.... Hmmmm, I could park my truck ON his little car. It's 2 minutes before class, my heart is racing, I'm cursing like a sailor, sweating like a one-legged jockey, throwing my truck in 4 wheel drive and driving it up onto the top of the snowbank!... seriously, who needs the workout in the gym!


janiece said...

Where on earth did you find this??? I feel that way when I go to work--get there 20 minutes early just to find a spot so I can walk 10 minutes to work--where I run my ass off!

Michelle said...

ok...let's here a big round of applause for the return of the word asshat! i love it.