Sunday, September 13, 2009

When Life Gives You Lemons - NaSePiMo

Seriously, this has been one lazy, low-key weekend... and I LOVED it

I did manage to get the kids out of their PJ's and go visit their Dad, who was just 1 mile down the road at a nearby horse farm selling his lemonade at their horse show. (shut up your dirty minds!)

What? I haven't mentioned the lemonade stand??? Really? Well, long story short, although he's now a suit and tie wearing Financial Advisor, Joe was once a carny... still is, I guess, technically. He still sets up the lemonade stand a few times a year at different events. What? a grown man with a lemonade stand.. nothin' wrong with that!

Anyway, so we show up and suddenly Joe high-tails it outta the stand, leaving me to serve the line of customers.
... and me without my vodka.

After I was drinking all the profits relieved of my lemon squeezing duties, I headed to the store with the kids to get Morgan's dance shoes.

That was a complete bust since apparently the teacher requires ballet shoes that either don't exist or need to be order 6 months in advance (did I mention the class starts Tuesday. Yeah, who's mother of the year? I am!).

But the day wasn't a complete loss. As I roamed Target cursing myself for allowing Morgan to sign up for dance again, I came across the boxes for RockBand BEATLES. Oh how I have been coveting this little game. But alas, I don't have RockBand, I have Guitar Hero - cursed evil video jerks for teasing us!!!! Damn those marketing geniuses who some how scored exclusive rights to the world greatest band. DAMN THEM and their monopolizing evil powers!!!
Yes, I'm a bit envious. And bitter? Moi?
But as I ran my fingers over the game I so craved, I noticed a wee, tiny fine print..."works with some Guitar Hero controllers".. What? SOME? What the heck does that mean??!!
I didn't care, it was worth the $59.99 non-refundable purchase try.

Fast forward to 10 minutes (and several traffic violations) later... I popped the disc in my Wii. It had some sort of warning about making all my other games forever incompatiable if I continued... I didn't care, I just clicked like a Beatle-lovin' mad woman... to hell with Wii Fit! What the hell has it done for me lately!

And then it happened....

...the most glorious opening sequence to any video game. ever.
(and yes, I took a picture. What?)

Hellz yeah! Take that!! It works, beyatches!!!!! *evil laugh*

and in a related story, this may be my last post for a few weeks... Gotta rest my drummer hands.


Frank Irwin said...

Those are some nice lemons you got there, lady!

"to hell with Wii Fit! What the hell has it done for me lately!" made me laugh.

Mala said...

Why, Thank you Franky.
(there's so many things I could add right here... but I'm chosing to not go there. Use your imagination. I know you will anyway)

Frank Irwin said...

I already have, Ms. Mala. I already have.

Stuart said...

As Grandpa always used to say, "When life gives you AIDS, make LemonAIDS".

But then, he used to poop himself too.


Samsmama said...

What Frank said. And then, the exact opposite of what Stuart said. I'm so confused.

Frank Irwin said...

WV: shagua - Sex in a Mexican hot tub.

Samsmama said...

Muy excellente, Senor!

Organic Meatbag said...

I too want this Beatles rock band gobbledygook...I have to get my old drumming arms back in shape! Love, love, love the Beatles...
Oh, and way to squeeze those lemons! Hehehe...

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

If life were to give me those lemons, I don't think I'd make lemonade, though I probably would squeeze them and see how they taste and all.

What? I like lemons.

Maria said...

It's a darn good thing I don't live near you because if I were to hang with you in person I'd pee my pants regularly from LMAO. Girl you CRACK ME UP!!! Love the previous comment about the blind epileptic manicurist too!

Cary said...

I always figured you for at least oranges, Mala, if not grapefruits. But hey, the world needs lemons.

As for your grown hubby and his lemonade stand, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that at all (covers mouth, stifles snickering). I'm sure the quarters come in handy.

Next he should open a banana stand.

Bev said...

HEEE! Ok, Stuart wins for Comment O' the day, am i right? That gets a big LOL from me. HUUUUUGE!

You know I love your lemons, so I'll stop now.

MtnMama said...

Personally, I think ALL Financial Advisors should have some "alternate skills," since far too many of them are... without.

And I HATE having to scare up all the stuff for our kid's activities. Hell, day to day school is getting out of hand. Seems like every time I turn around there is SOMETHING I am supposed to buy.

Mala said...

Stuart - Isn't it so sweet when the elderly impart sound, relevant words of wisdom cultivated from their years of life and experience... not that any of that applies in this case.

Samsmama - I too am confuddled... does this mean you were using your imagination too....? Oh boy.

Frank - and that's one hot tub I won't be taking a dip in!

OM - Very fun. on both accounts.

Mjenks- awwwwww *blush*. You're so sweet.... SQUEEEEEEE>

Maria - Well the door is ALWAYS open.... and we don't mind pant wetting at all!

Cary - hold on.... no, definitely not lemons.......hmmmmmm..... oranges???? maybe.... wait? how big are grapefruits? I need a little help here.

Bev - I hope when I'm very old, I too will be dispensing such sage advice... but not pooping my pants. Shoot me if I do that.
And thanks for the lemon love.

MtnMama - Seriously... I think it's only a matter of time before half the school day is spent forcing the kids to pan-handle on the streets! We're a whole week into school and I've been hit up for 4 fundraisers!

Bev said...

Mala, you have juicy naval oranges, I have sweet grapefruits. I refuse to believe that there are any mini watermelons btwn us.

WV - tomyazz. No, to YOUR azz, Blogger!