Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Dude Looks Like (an Old) Lady!

Vacation was fabulous... blah, blah, blah. I'll get to that all later. But first I just saw something that has scared me and scarred me! You may want to turn away... but I know you won't.

ARGH! Sweet Jesus on a Pogo Stick!!! What the hell is that!? First I thought that old bitty has got to be Madonna's mother... or grandmother.
You see the resemblance, right?

But then to my extreme shock and horror, I discover this old broad flashin' some cleav is allegedly.....(gulp)....... Steven Tyler!


Seriously, he hurt his shoulder...how did that result in him becoming an old shriveled handbag wearing Nicole Richie's sunglasses!

So I refused to believe it was him. I mean, I love me some Aerosmith, and although Steven Tyler is no Joe Perry, I've never thought he looked like an elderly lady/Capuchin Monkey hybrid!

But of course with this image haunting and tormenting my brain, I had to delve deeper into this mystery.
Unfortunately, I found this:

ARGHGHGYGHGYG!!!!! Cripes sake! It IS Steven Tyler!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

So for all of you bloggers who have been lamenting your fading youth.... there you go. Feel better?


Mary said...

gee- thanks. Thanks a lot.
I think I'll go listen to some old LPs on my HiFi and see if my bell bottoms still fit.
Cripes, I feel ancient!

The Peach Tart said...

I love me some Steven Tyler but damn he looks old and worn out. Too many years of partying I guess.

Madonna - what the hell?

Frank Irwin said...

Here's what happened at Sturgis.

Bev said...

No, I do NOT feel better! More proof that getting old SUCKS!

Oh Steven.... wow. This post is HILARIOUS, Mala!

Organic Meatbag said...

WOW...dude looks like a bad deteriorated corpse!!
Thanks for the awesome laughs... monkeys are fun...they play with themselves and fling poop!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You've got to be careful around those Capuchins!

Samsmama said...

LMAO @ Nicole Richie's sunglasses! Seriously, what the hell? Just because you hurt your shoulder doesn't mean you need to start cross dressing.

It terrifies me how much he looks like my late Great Aunt Priscilla. Seriously.

PorkStar said...

After reading this post I had the urge to look at my privates and suddenly I feel much better.

onebadmamajama said...

Well, now I can grown old..smug in the knowledge I probably won't look like that til I'm at least 80 cause I didn't live the really cool and fabulously rich life he's lead to look like that at 60.


Word verification: horiest Really, srsly! LOL

Mala said...

Mary - No worries! You are not ancient and I have a sneaking suspicion you don't ever get confused with a fashionably-challenged old man/Capuchin monkey. Now slide over and lets rock out to some LPs!

Peach Tart - Oh Mah Hell!!! If that's what partyin' does to you, I might have to quit. eh, probably not.

Franky - Holy Hell, did he fall down a sewer drain? Those roadies couldn't seem to retrieve him (although, in my opinion, they didn't try all that hard). Livin' it up when I'm goin' downnnnn.......arrrghghgh... thud! .....ouch.
Thanks for the video. Always, keeping us in the know. You rock.

Bev - He did a few kick ass dance moves (no robot, however) before he did the header. He was down(down on the ground - hee hee), for some time.. must have been when they applied the old lady looks and gynormous glasses!

OM- Yes, well let's hope Steven doesn't start that! It may turn me off from him completely! Or not.

Mjenks - I'm always careful around all monkeys!

Samsmama - you must post pictures of your auntie!!! C'mon! Do it!!!
And let's hope those ridiculous glasses help him see better! Who the hell put the end of the stage there! Bastards!

Porkstar - I thought every one of my posts make you look down at your privates!

OBMJ - yes, I think there's been some sort of deal struck with the devil, yes? Fabulous rockstar life, but by the light of day, you will turn into a 106 year old Monkey Lady with painfully bad fashion sense! (oh and no hair brush).
and i plan on using the word horiest in all conversations here on out!

And did no one else laugh that he took a picture with Turtle? No? Just me? OK then.

Jillinator said...

OMGF - I'm feeling a LOT better about turning four-oh tomorrow now. At least I don't look like that!

calicobebop said...

EWWW!!! I'm scared shitless!

Kristen said...

OMFG! What happened. He should be the poster child {has been} for the anti drug campaign. And I so love that the guy taking the video was being all stealth by pretending he was on the phone.

Kristen said...

Came over cuz Bev told me too.

janiece said...

Shit--that's all I can say

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