Friday, May 15, 2009

To Catch A Dumbass

For certain, I am a die hard reality show junkie. Love it! It’s pure crap, I know this, and yet, like a train wreck, I just can’t stop myself.

One of my favorites would have to be Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator. Granted, this is like news right? So it doesn’t fall directly into the category of trash TV. But nonetheless, it’s chalk full of dumb-asses who get exactly what they deserve. Well, OK, really they deserve a slow painful death, but getting totally owned on national TV is pretty sweet as well.
I swear, the producers of this show are freakin’ geniuses! Think about it, the asshat child molesters write almost the entire script! For free! And man is it priceless! And then you have Chris Hanson, reading the predators’ chat transcripts back to them, totally void of emotion or inflection, like he’s reading the cooking directions to a box of Craft Mac and Yack! “I see you wrote, ‘ I want to (bleep) your (bleep) with my (bleep) (bleep)’. What did you mean by that?” Priceless.

And let’s face it, in addition to seriously low production costs (I think most of the show’s budget goes to Chris’ bi-weekly hair cuts and Sweet Tea), this show could film nightly in countless cities across the country and never come to the end of the insane parade of child molesters who are stupid enough to think their sick butts aren’t going to get busted for trying to have sex with random web-surfing kiddos!

Of course, my favorite moments on the show is when Chris Hanson pops out and happily greets the perps and you see that flash of recognition and said perp blurts out something like, “oh snap! I know who you are! Damnnnnnn! Am I on that Catch a Predator show?! Where the cameras at? For shizzle, let me call my crew. Dude! I’m on TV!” ahhhhhh, good stuff.

And here's a fact; * Lemonade and sweet tea is child molester bait! Oh my hell! They love that stuff! Even if they have a moment of enlightenment that what they are doing may be wrong or this whole thing could be a sting- you know like that Dateline show- all logic flies out the window at the mere mention of lemonade!

For real, who would have ever guessed that such a disgusting, stomach-turning subject like child molesters could create such a side-splitting, must see TV!!!!

This video is so wrong but I just can't stop laughing! Safe to say, it's not appropriate around the kids or your boss (unless your boss is super cool and equally twisted! in which case, Go You!)


jessica o said...

Itty, Titty Gang Bang.

Oh you Itty, Titty Gang Bang, Itty, Titty Gang Bang, we love you. And our Itty Titty Gang Bang, Itty, Titty Gang Bang loves us too.

So wrong.

janiece said...

OMG--where do you find this stuff?? And I personally have lots of ways to deal with assholes that go after children--most illegal and involve various slow methods of torture

Bev said...

I can't watch this show! It angries up the blood, for real!

bratico: the way Danny is acting this morning, dude. Ugh.

Lori said...

You so crack me up. You're right--it's like a morbid train wreck you just can't help but watch. The dumbest are the ones who KNOW this show, KNOW who Chris Hanson is and STILL do it...sickos. Those perverts just make me mad, but I do like watching them have some sort of come-uppance...although it's certainly not what they deserve!

Samsmama said...

That was hilarious! Kathy Griffin does a whole sketch about this show and predators and their love of tea. Too funny.

My husband already informed me we'll be Wang Chunging tonight.

Elizabeth and Bill said...

OOOH love this show too. There is actually a site that has volunteers posting as kids and then when they get the people to agree to a meeting and they've spelled out all the crap they want to do they post the person's name/email/phone number/employer (whatever they have) on the web. These types of things are about as legal sweet revenge you can get without court...