Thursday, April 23, 2009

Google Search Term Awards

I always get a laugh over the search terms that unsuspecting (and often perverted) folks google that land them right here on my little bloggy-poo. Really, it's one thing to google, but another thing to actually click on a result, that really has nothing to do with your search. Sometime Google is just a crackhead.
So welcome to the first annual BHB Google Search Term Awards.

First, in the category of Longest search term: Immediately you received the payment get back to me so that i can send to you the shipper info to reimburse the balance to them today.So get back to me asap.. which of course brought them to my lengthy but amusing retelling of a scammer getting scammed. I love it when asshats get what they deserve!

For most common search term we have a tie between "sexylegs" (yes, one word!) and "pictures of wounds". I don't know what to say, but, why? Who's looking up these terms and WHY do they actually click on my page? Scary. A few pervs out there googled "nothing but sexy legs" and google sent 'em my way! HA! SUCKA! oh, wait, crap I just gave them one more hit for sexylegs and pictures of wounds!!!!
*Third place goes to the search term "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" (yes, that's with 19 'e"s). Again, what the hell are they looking for? But I must admit, I'm just a wee (with 2 "e"s) bit proud that google associates such a fun exclamation to me! But before I get all giddy, another popular search term that brings people to my little corner of the blogosphere is "boooooooooo". sigh.*

Now for a few "What The Hell Does That Have To Do With Me?" awards
1958 general electric freezer value huh? I don't recall every mentioning any thing like that? Oh, but the answer would be: NOTHING! Throw it out already!
"kid sipped champagne" What?! Huh?! It was sparkling cider, I SWEAR!
"report about a house was stolen" actually I get a lot of hits from variations of this term. Apparently it's an issue somewhere. I don't remember it an issue with me however.

Top searches related to Bev... on not:
bev kyrgyzstan
bev back (kinda like Sexy Back, eh?)
is bev back?
Bev's one popular chick! Thanks for the traffic!

The winner (err, loser) for "You should probably turn yourself in" award would go to the perv surfer who happened upon my little blog by searching for "movies where kids are being patted". Ewwwwwww....

"SEXY" search terms:
Besides "sexylegs"... and of course the occasional "sexy legs", here are some award winners that wanted a bunch of sexy... but got me instead.
"Sexy legs from home" - I have no idea...
"Sexy leg" - I can't believe they weren't sent to Heather Mills site.
"Sexyleggs" - leave no stone unturned in the hunt for hot legs.
"Sexy medical terminology" - really? Is there such a thing?
"Sexy Clot" - ugh, I think I just threw up a little.

Here are the recipients for the "Right Church, Wrong Pew" awards:
Mala mama - Ugh, hope my kids don't start calling me that!
mala humiliation blogspot - WHAT?!! Really? I never thought of it that way... but now that you mention it.
Mala needs - hey! That means there's another Mala out there, somewhere, playing that same cheestastic game!

The "Beck" awards go to:
beck bloodless blogspot - *cringe*
beck home get those - BACK OFF YODA! He's MINE!!!!
beck rugrats
Go beck yourself - Woo, hey now, that's not necessary.
princess beck - OK, Morgan, no more dressing Beck! You got a brother, not a sister. deal.
tally beck - I have no idea. hold on, I gotta google it.

And finally, the "this really bums me out that you googled this term and found me" award goes to:
obese humiliation in public forum - oh man... I think I liked sexyleg better!


Samsmama said...

"Beck home get those", that was me. Sorry I am.

Nancy said...

LMAO!!!! Heather Mills comment - oh my god, you kill me!

Lori said...

Girl, I SO needed a good laugh today. It has been one miserable day at the ranch and I just laughed and laughed. I'm jealous you have such a fabulous (albeit, some creepy) palate from which you could choose to award! I might have to take a gander at my searches and see what's out there...

Thanks again for the MUCH needed (and enjoyed) laugh!

Mala said...

Samsmama - OK it is. Happy I am. Here, you are.

Nancy - I can't think of Heather Mills without remembering that comedian that said, "yeah, too bad about that horse's leg. Oh and Barbaro too." LMAO!

Lori - Sorry about your craptastic day. Hope all is well.
I had to actually edit a bunch of real nasty ones out. Geesh, I think google has the wrong impression of me.... or not.

Bev said...

You get some serious perverts visiting your blog, lady! And that's just the folks we KNOW. ;)

Sexylegs... show me some more pictures of wounds and go pet a kid. (ick!)

Jes said...

That is fricken hilarious! How do you know that those searches bring them to your blog??? I don't even want to know what's bringing people to mine!! Wowza!!!